it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
