New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
