...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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