That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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