party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
