From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
