Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
