How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
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