i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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