i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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