You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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