Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
