I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
