We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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