I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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