tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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