her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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