I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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