i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
ttyl tear gas
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
