So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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