yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
