one two three fourrrrnication!
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
