If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
