my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Randomize
