The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We just shotgunned beers for America
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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