I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
