My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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