Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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