So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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