i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
being pregnant is like rehab
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
