In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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