Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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