neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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