You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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