Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Ketchup is God's man juice
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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