HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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