8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
