Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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