I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
