"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize