At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
