i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
