Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
When are your genitals available?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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