I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
