i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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