Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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