as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
