ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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