I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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