oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
