I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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