Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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