So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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