Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
