I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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