dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
