remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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