yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
