I just threw up on my dentist
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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