We're facebook friends in real life
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
